My Experience
I was involved in the Independent Fundamental Baptist movement for over 25 years. For 18 of those years, I was in leadership positions, which included being a Senior Pastor of a small country church. After walking away from the church, the ministry, and religion altogether, I came to the realization that the environment and culture from which I escaped had been toxic and high controlling. The following considerations are based upon my experience (what I witnessed, what I taught, what I lived), as well as my research, and my opinion.
Marks of Toxic/High-Control Religion
This list is not exhaustive but serves as a starting point for further exploration and discussion.
- DOGMATISM. Members are often discouraged from questioning/doubting their beliefs. Pastors/leaders criticize and/or ridicule either the "Deconstruction/Reconstruction Movement" or anyone who is involved in deconstructing/reconstructing their faith. Members are also discouraged from interpreting scriptures differently than their pastor/leader, church, or denomination.
- EXCLUSION. Members are encouraged (or outright told) to dissociate, avoid, reject, shun, distance themselves from anyone (including relatives and loved ones) who:
- questions/doubts their beliefs or the beliefs/teachings of their pastor/leader, church, or denomination
- interprets scriptures differently than their pastor/leader, church, or denomination
- leaves their church or religion (no matter the reason)
- MANIPULATION. Pastors/leaders use the Bible, or another religious text, to generally instill fear, guilt, shame in people. They use the threat of their god's wrath and judgment, their god's displeasure, or spending eternity in literal, eternal, conscious torment (hell) to manipulate, control, or reinforce how to live within their rules - which includes tithing to their church, over-serving as a volunteer, or following the pastor's or church's code of conduct (including how to behave, what to wear, what activities to participate in).
- DEVALUING PEOPLE. Pastors/leaders devalue a person by convincing them they are inherently evil, a wretched worm, and a filthy sinner. They challenge a person’s intuition and internal logic by convincing them that their heart and mind cannot be trusted as it is deceitful and wicked, and that they must “lean not unto their own understanding.” They disrespect women by teaching submission to husbands and church leaders, and by teaching that not allowing women to be church leaders is their god’s will. They use the Bible to teach anti-LGBTQ content that demonizes practicing gays, lesbians, and trans individuals or to instill hypersexual purity culture on the youth.
- ABUSE. They teach corporal punishment/spanking or withholding basic necessities as a way of disciplining their children. They minimize or create an environment where sexual abuse is tolerated by using trust, faith, and authority to groom and abuse victims and/or keep abuse a secret in the church so as to handle things “biblically.” They use authoritarian techniques to emotionally abuse people by insisting members follow the practices of the church or ignore real problems with abuse, domineering, or control.
- SPIRITUAL BYPASS. They use spiritual/religious explanations for (or to avoid) complex psychological issues (e.g. attributing mental health issues or symptoms to demonic influence/possession, attributing behavioral issues in children to a lack of discipline, or saying such things as "You must avoid anger or fear." or "Traumatic events are learning experiences sent by god or part of god's plan." or "Only focus on the positive.").
Effects of Toxic/High-Control Religion
Such teachings and practices can have severe consequences on an individual's mental health and well-being, which is referred to as Religious Trauma. Such harmful teachings lead to guilt, shame, fear, dependency, and confusion. Individuals exposed to such teachings may suffer from anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem, which can lead to a lifelong struggle with feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness. They may also experience difficulty in developing health relationships, setting boundaries, and coping with stress which can significantly impact an individual's ability to lead a fulfilling and balanced life.
If you have recently left your church, your ministry, your religion, and you are feeling stuck, click HERE.
If you have recently left your church, your ministry, your religion, and you are feeling stuck, click HERE.
